Sorry this is dramatic but I’m a girl and I suck so. deal with it.
What hurts me the most about what happened between us is how nothing went wrong. We got along, made each other laugh, enjoyed the time we spent together, and cared for each other. And when you decided I was too much for you, it was hard for me to understand. I suppose our situation just finally got the best of us, something I never expected to happen so quickly. I never even realized how much I actually I loved you until you were gone. It hurts me the that we’ve been through this before. I spent most of this time around trying to make things different, better even, and it still wasn’t enough to make you stay when things got hard. I gave you everything I had and you left the second it wasn't going the way you wanted. But it’s funny how things work out sometimes, and then again how they don’t work out at all. And it hurts me every day I let the stress get to you and we didn't figure it out sooner and I couldn’t fix it. It especially hurts how nothing is the same, and it’s going to take more time than I’d ever admit to anyone else to move past that. Sometimes I don't know what's worse, knowing I lost you or knowing you might never come back. I’d love to believe I wasn’t expendable to you and you really did care about me more than you showed, but you have to admit you gave me no reason to believe it. You left the second things got difficult again and I didn’t deserve that. Even though three months ago you promised me you wouldn’t. And I believed you. While I was making plans to fight for you, you were already making plans without me. You said you wanted my opinion, you said you wanted to talk it out, but your mind was already made up. And we both know once you have it set in your mind there's no changing it. If you want to make time for me you would but for some reason, I will probably never understand, you don’t want to. You have to understand, telling me being with me was irresponsible of you was unfair. In those moments you made me weak, weaker and more vulnerable than I’ve ever been to even my closest friends and that wasn't fair. I don’t think I could’ve held on to you even I tried harder than I did, and I understand that you had your reasons and you needed to do you. Some days the reasons are enough, and others, I am constantly overthinking about whether you meant it or whether there was more beneath the surface or whether I could’ve held on a little longer. It’s especially difficult to believe there was nothing more to it than stress when it feels you’ve been pulling away from me for weeks. It’s hard not to think there’s not more to this or someone else or something wrong with me that you’re too kind to admit. But at the end of the day knowing the truth or living with a lie isn’t going to change anything for us; You made it clear this was the end of us. I’m doing my best every day to be OK with that. Losing you was hard, it still is, and it will be for a while. I didn’t just lose a piece of my happiness, but my best friend. You were my go to for good time and bad. You were my favorite study break, my shoulder to cry on, my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I don’t think there’s ever going to come a time when I don’t miss a part of you and the things we had. You’re probably already moving past those feelings, and maybe you will find someone sooner than you think that can be more for you than I ever was. For all I know you have someone else that you love more than you could have ever loved me. I like to think that one day we can laugh about how sappy this letter is and how little it all seems to be now. or maybe one day, you’ll change your mind. Know I miss you, know I loved you, know you have a piece of me no one will ever be able to replace. Please know this letter is not to hurt you, or make you feel horrible about yourself. I don’t hate you and I’m looking forward to a day where we can be close friends again. I am trying to move past this the same way you are, just in a method you probably don’t understand. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience it’s holding your feelings in only makes the feeling grow but knowing, you know this might set me free. So I’m sorry you’re reading this and I’m sorry if it hurts but it's my turn to be selfish.
What hurts me the most about what happened between us is how nothing went wrong. We got along, made each other laugh, enjoyed the time we spent together, and cared for each other. And when you decided I was too much for you, it was hard for me to understand. I suppose our situation just finally got the best of us, something I never expected to happen so quickly. I never even realized how much I actually I loved you until you were gone. It hurts me the that we’ve been through this before. I spent most of this time around trying to make things different, better even, and it still wasn’t enough to make you stay when things got hard. I gave you everything I had and you left the second it wasn't going the way you wanted. But it’s funny how things work out sometimes, and then again how they don’t work out at all. And it hurts me every day I let the stress get to you and we didn't figure it out sooner and I couldn’t fix it. It especially hurts how nothing is the same, and it’s going to take more time than I’d ever admit to anyone else to move past that. Sometimes I don't know what's worse, knowing I lost you or knowing you might never come back. I’d love to believe I wasn’t expendable to you and you really did care about me more than you showed, but you have to admit you gave me no reason to believe it. You left the second things got difficult again and I didn’t deserve that. Even though three months ago you promised me you wouldn’t. And I believed you. While I was making plans to fight for you, you were already making plans without me. You said you wanted my opinion, you said you wanted to talk it out, but your mind was already made up. And we both know once you have it set in your mind there's no changing it. If you want to make time for me you would but for some reason, I will probably never understand, you don’t want to. You have to understand, telling me being with me was irresponsible of you was unfair. In those moments you made me weak, weaker and more vulnerable than I’ve ever been to even my closest friends and that wasn't fair. I don’t think I could’ve held on to you even I tried harder than I did, and I understand that you had your reasons and you needed to do you. Some days the reasons are enough, and others, I am constantly overthinking about whether you meant it or whether there was more beneath the surface or whether I could’ve held on a little longer. It’s especially difficult to believe there was nothing more to it than stress when it feels you’ve been pulling away from me for weeks. It’s hard not to think there’s not more to this or someone else or something wrong with me that you’re too kind to admit. But at the end of the day knowing the truth or living with a lie isn’t going to change anything for us; You made it clear this was the end of us. I’m doing my best every day to be OK with that. Losing you was hard, it still is, and it will be for a while. I didn’t just lose a piece of my happiness, but my best friend. You were my go to for good time and bad. You were my favorite study break, my shoulder to cry on, my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I don’t think there’s ever going to come a time when I don’t miss a part of you and the things we had. You’re probably already moving past those feelings, and maybe you will find someone sooner than you think that can be more for you than I ever was. For all I know you have someone else that you love more than you could have ever loved me. I like to think that one day we can laugh about how sappy this letter is and how little it all seems to be now. or maybe one day, you’ll change your mind. Know I miss you, know I loved you, know you have a piece of me no one will ever be able to replace. Please know this letter is not to hurt you, or make you feel horrible about yourself. I don’t hate you and I’m looking forward to a day where we can be close friends again. I am trying to move past this the same way you are, just in a method you probably don’t understand. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience it’s holding your feelings in only makes the feeling grow but knowing, you know this might set me free. So I’m sorry you’re reading this and I’m sorry if it hurts but it's my turn to be selfish.