So I guess I should explain so you don't start reading this and go "wait this is almost exactly like you're first blog, what is happening?"
I wrote both these letters to the same person on the same day. After breaking up for the same reason the second time, I had to decide if I wanted to put myself out there again and win him back or let him go. I decided to write two letters: one saying goodbye, and one saying it's not over. Whatever was easier to write would tell me which path to take.
I know this isn’t you and I know you know it too. You’ve been pushing me away for weeks and I should have said something earlier rather than letting it build up in you. What I find the saddest about what happened between us is how nothing went wrong. We got along, made each other laugh, enjoyed the time we spent together, and cared about each other. It wasn’t perfect but it was ours and it was good. And when you decided I was too much for you, it was hard for me to understand. I suppose our situation just finally got the best of us, something I never expected to happen so quickly. I never even realized how much I actually I loved you until you were gone. I thought I could get over you and that my broken heart would heal quickly. But this has been harder than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m exhausted pretending to be strong and it’s not a big deal. One look at you and my heart melts. All the buried feelings flow back into me. So I feel like I have to let you know I’m not ready for this to be over. Maybe you are and maybe you’re not but if I don’t at least try I’m not sure I could ever let this go. So in case it was just the stress talking and you regretted watching me get out of your car as much as I regretted walking away, I figured if I voice my feelings maybe you'll get the courage to give this another try. It doesn’t have to end this way. I don't think it would benefit either one of us to give up on this relationship yet because we've been through so much and our good times have far outnumbered the bad. We’ve tried this before and it ended terribly, you even admitted to it. I don’t know about you but I’m not looking forward to another summer of pretending to be ok and pretending my feelings for you are gone. I don’t see how this time would be any different from the last. It’s frustrating for me to watch you be as upset as I am and know you’re too stubborn to admit it. But if I don’t at least try for you now then I’ll always wonder what would happen if I had. And no it’s not going to be easy but I believe it would be worth it. There’s a lot we would need to work through and talk about but it’s nothing we haven’t done before. All I want to do is be there for you. I’m not asking for a lifetime; I’m not asking you to spend all of your free time with me. I’m asking for no more than you’re willing to give me. This is not about what I deserve or what you think I “need”. A girlfriend doesn’t have to take up all your time and I’m going to be busy too. So I don’t understand why you think your responsibilities and the things you have going are too big for me to understand because I really do. But I’d rather have you for 5 minutes than not having you at all. But if you don’t see us together anymore that’s ok; I’m glad I now know and you can throw this letter away and I’ll eventually get over it. And I’m looking forward to the day where we can smile and laugh similar to how we used to only as good friends. I will never stop caring about you and will cherish what had. But I don’t want to go another seven months wondering how you feel and trying to read your impossible messages and signals to find out this isn’t over. So if it's not over for you either and you can see yourself laughing and kissing and being together like we used to, don't wait.
I wrote both these letters to the same person on the same day. After breaking up for the same reason the second time, I had to decide if I wanted to put myself out there again and win him back or let him go. I decided to write two letters: one saying goodbye, and one saying it's not over. Whatever was easier to write would tell me which path to take.
I know this isn’t you and I know you know it too. You’ve been pushing me away for weeks and I should have said something earlier rather than letting it build up in you. What I find the saddest about what happened between us is how nothing went wrong. We got along, made each other laugh, enjoyed the time we spent together, and cared about each other. It wasn’t perfect but it was ours and it was good. And when you decided I was too much for you, it was hard for me to understand. I suppose our situation just finally got the best of us, something I never expected to happen so quickly. I never even realized how much I actually I loved you until you were gone. I thought I could get over you and that my broken heart would heal quickly. But this has been harder than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m exhausted pretending to be strong and it’s not a big deal. One look at you and my heart melts. All the buried feelings flow back into me. So I feel like I have to let you know I’m not ready for this to be over. Maybe you are and maybe you’re not but if I don’t at least try I’m not sure I could ever let this go. So in case it was just the stress talking and you regretted watching me get out of your car as much as I regretted walking away, I figured if I voice my feelings maybe you'll get the courage to give this another try. It doesn’t have to end this way. I don't think it would benefit either one of us to give up on this relationship yet because we've been through so much and our good times have far outnumbered the bad. We’ve tried this before and it ended terribly, you even admitted to it. I don’t know about you but I’m not looking forward to another summer of pretending to be ok and pretending my feelings for you are gone. I don’t see how this time would be any different from the last. It’s frustrating for me to watch you be as upset as I am and know you’re too stubborn to admit it. But if I don’t at least try for you now then I’ll always wonder what would happen if I had. And no it’s not going to be easy but I believe it would be worth it. There’s a lot we would need to work through and talk about but it’s nothing we haven’t done before. All I want to do is be there for you. I’m not asking for a lifetime; I’m not asking you to spend all of your free time with me. I’m asking for no more than you’re willing to give me. This is not about what I deserve or what you think I “need”. A girlfriend doesn’t have to take up all your time and I’m going to be busy too. So I don’t understand why you think your responsibilities and the things you have going are too big for me to understand because I really do. But I’d rather have you for 5 minutes than not having you at all. But if you don’t see us together anymore that’s ok; I’m glad I now know and you can throw this letter away and I’ll eventually get over it. And I’m looking forward to the day where we can smile and laugh similar to how we used to only as good friends. I will never stop caring about you and will cherish what had. But I don’t want to go another seven months wondering how you feel and trying to read your impossible messages and signals to find out this isn’t over. So if it's not over for you either and you can see yourself laughing and kissing and being together like we used to, don't wait.